Obedient Child Lives Longer

Eph 6:1-3

1. We humans are afraid of death and wish to live long. Now, Korean lives 73 years average. Korean average life increased 42 years for the last 70 years, more than doubled, and it still increase 2 months every year, but we put lot of time, money, and effort to live longer. Contemporary humans do no longer believe that life is controlled by Heaven and think that life can be extended more by our efforts. Clean air, proper fitness and exercise, healthy food, longevity medicine, close hospital and medical doctors make us to live longer. Of course, it is not wrong even from the Biblical perspective. The Word of God teaches that we have to take care of our body which is the Temple of the Holy Spirit and it should not be used as instrument and space for sinful activities. The wages of sin is death. Also, it teaches that the physical exercise and training is quite helpful and we need to take foods with gratitude and joy.

2. However, the Bible teaches the secret of longevity differently. In the Scripture today, Paul teaches that the secret of longevity is to obey one’s parent. It is the promise of God Himself which is written on the stone of Ten Commandments by God Himself. In spite of this sure promise, even Christians today do not believe this and pursue secular methods of longevity with spending so much time, money and life. It results not only in the vain misuse of life and our God-given resources, but also in the neglect of the divine command to obey father and mother. Church is criticized from society for the neglect of filial duty. Today we celebrate Parent’s Sunday, and we need to think this seriously before God.

3. We Christians still confess that our life is in the providence of God, but what is our truth of life? First, we give more importance to the physical exercise than the spiritual exercise and devote more time and energy for the former. Second, we depend too much to medicine and hospital, to which we are addicted and enslaved more and more. Third, especially we Koreans are very much interested and even gluttonous in eating special foods and medicines. Under the Taoist influence, we believe that we can live longer when we take enough Chi-filled foods and medicines. So, Koreans are traditionally eager to take mountain ginseng, deer antler, bear’s gall, and eat snake and dog etc. These superstitious behaviors destroy the nature and receive severe criticisms. Rather, we have to believe the Word of God and follow His way on how to live longer: Obedient children live longer. The key is obedience to parents.

4. Therefore, the Bible distinguishes the humans into two categories: the children of obedience and the children of disobedience. Why this standard of distinction and how does it work? These two groups of people are differentiated by two life principles of obedience and disobedience. Obedient human trusts in parents and seniors, submit to authority, have attitude of love and gentleness, learn humbly, and live an obedient life. They live safe and successful life because they respect and learn from parents and seniors who have much experience of life. And they learn how to live with higher authorities including God through their obedience and respect to their parents. On the other hand, disobedience human distrusts in parents and higher authorities including God, resists against them with groundless reason and pointless hate, and insists own ignorant and foolish ideas. Doubtlessly, it results in failure of life, trouble with other people, and therefore being controlled by others and authorities. Some of them could end in prison and even capital punishment. Today, disobedient and undisciplined children are rapidly growing. We have to teach obedience more than anything else.

5. It is non-sense not to obey parents, because parents are the ones who love them most in the whole world. Because they love their children more than anything else, they can do anything for their children. Look at the story of Syrophoenician mother in Matthew 15. Therefore, it is natural for God to decide that disobedient children who despise, ignore, resist and disobey their parents may not live long.

6. It is natural that obedient humans live longer, for they are properly formed to live harmonious with the other beings in the order of the world through learning such obedience from their parents. First, obedient children enjoy peace with parents and this peaceful life makes them live longer. On the other hand, disobedient children naturally develop resistant, radical and hot temper. It will contribute to their unhealthy and shorter life psychologically, spiritually and physically, for it is proven that our body and mind are interrelated positively or negatively. Disobedience to parents or God results in deep and painful stress inside of soul and body. Second, obedient children live a safe life, for parents always ask for their children to live safe and healthy. When they listen to the advice of parents and obey their sayings, it is natural to live safe and healthy by self-control and reasonable management of life. Third, obedient children enjoy happy family life and this happiness of mind will contribute to long life. Of course, long life is not simply living long but with happiness, as Paul said "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." It is to "go well and live long", that is, a happy, righteous and good longevity.

7. Because God loves us and wishes our happy and long life, the Scripture strongly teaches obedience to parents even with the words of condemnation and punishment. In Deut 21, God commanded: "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, … all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid."(18-21) It is the teaching of the Scripture that disobedient children have no worth to live. Proverb regarded disobedient children as foolish and condemned: "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures."(30:17) Jesus sharply pointed out the evil of Corban, and he tried to comfort his mother even on the painful cross. To some Christians who justified their negligence of parent in the name of faith, Paul rebuked in 1 Tim 5:8: "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Therefore, Paul asked to teach our children and grandchildren that they "learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God."(1 Tim 5:4)

8. Filial duty to love and care parents is a Christian duty and proof of being a good Christian: To press hard and treat harsh parents is a great sin. Rather, it is the duty of children to respect and please them: "May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!"(Prov 23:25) Of course, we cannot obey parents in everything for human parents are not perfect. But, children’s principle and attitude of children to their parents should be that of obedience and respect. To honor parents is to praise and thank them and be proud to have them as parents. Parents always love and are proud of their children. Then, what should their children do to their parents? Because they are human, our parents may have some mistakes, wrongdoings, weaknesses, and even hurt us. But, it is all because they love us and try to correct us. They devoted their most precious period of life for us. Now, they are weak and sick. This is our turn to repay their love and sacrifice to us. God is called our Father. Why? Because He loves us like our father and mother. If our relationship with father is wrong and disobedient, our relationship with Father is not correct because both relationships are closely related. Our parents, if they are still alive, may have not many years to live. Time runs out! Include love of parents in the essential duty of our Christian life. If we are obedient and respectful to our parents, our children will learn us and be obedient and respectful to us. It is the will of God, and it is the way how God wants to teach obedience to the fallen human beings.

1. God created man and woman, Adam and Eve to marry and form a family of love, and He intended that the next generation would be created in this atmosphere of love as the creation of love. So, He wanted that the human race would be increased and continued to exist to achieve the purpose of creation. Therefore, family is called "creation order". When this creation order is collapsed, this world will come to the end. Now is the time that this creation order of family is in danger. Contemporary family crisis such as no marriage, homosexuality, divorce, and abortion etc. are threatening God’s creation order of family. Most of all, fertility rate is radically dropping. Even though the world average is 2.6, still more than 2.1 which keep the same number, in the last 30 years in the less-developed world, fertility rate dropped from 6.2 to 3.0. In the human history, this is the most rapidly declining time. USA’s fertility rate is 2.09 mainly due to the immigration and Hispanic people. South Korea’s fertility rate is 1.27, 215^th low among 226 countries. African and Islam countries have the highest fertility rate. Can you picture the future of the world and the future of our fatherland? This is the natural punishment to the people who lost love in the family, not the love to enjoy selfishly but the love to serve and care sacrificially. Raising a child is not easy, but a child who learned how to love and care other people is the precious future of the world and God’s Kingdom.

2. God is love, and we are created as the image of God. Therefore, the essential nature of human being is also love, the being who can love others and who is happy when he or she loves others. However, as man was fallen and we are born with original sin of selfishness, we misunderstand ourselves as beings who are happy when we win over others and possess more than others. Satan deceives us so, because it will results in our destruction. Even, as parents, we are easily become selfish. We like to enjoy our children as our possession and tend to control them as we like. Every human being is equal and independent. God gave a new human being to our family to raise with love because they need nurture and protection. They are God’s creature and God’s children, not our possession. Even though we are not foster parent or adopted parent, still they are not ours and they leave us when they are fully grown. We are simply stewards of our children for a limited time.

3. Therefore, we parents have responsibility to love and care so that they would become a human being who can love and care others from God to the weak, and responsibility to nurture and protect so that they would be a human being healthy enough to serve others. Then, what is the worst damage to this wonderful creature? Paul says to parents, especially fathers: "Do not exasperate your children!" Why? Because it results in damaging the core of your children seriously and even irrecoverably. So, Col 3.21 says that "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged!" If you embitter your children, they become discouraged and lost self-confidence, courage to live and hope for the future. This embittered emotion twist the character to the negative side. In a word, it destroys the beautiful human soul and gives a great damage to the whole life.

4. Then, what makes you children angry? William Hendriksen listed six causes: First, by over protection. It damages self-confidence on the one hand, and social courtesy on the other hand. Second, by favoritism. Isaac and Esau became enemy because of their parent’s favoritism. Third, by discouragement. It happens when parents see only negative side, not the positive side. Parents should see their children as the child of God and the agent for His Kingdom. God has a great purpose for your child. Fourth, by ignoring individuality. Every child is unique. When parents want their children to be an exact copy, they become angry. When they compare them with other children, they become angry. Fifth, by neglect. It is a great sin to neglect family, for it is against the command of God to love and care them. David neglect of Absalom resulted in the tragic revolt. Sixth, by bitter words and outright physical cruelty. Child abuse is serious. Abuse results in abuse. Hate results in hate in word and deed. It happens when parents regard their children as their possession not as the children of God or equal human being.

5. Because they are precious children of God, we are commanded to raise them not in our way and our philosophy but "instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Of course, we have responsibility to teach and we may teach our wisdom and faith but as far as it is in harmony with the Lord’s teaching. After all, they are new. We may not corrupt this fresh and new one with our old stains and dirt, with our prejudices and misconceptions. The Bible contains "the training and instruction of the Lord": "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."(2 Tim 3:16-18) We need to give them the map of the world, the correct one which is in the Word of God. Our map could be helpful, but imperfect and partial. The Lord’s instruction is love, but ours is mixed with secular and selfish desires. Parents easily corrupt the pure and beautiful soul of child with selfish desires. God loves and cares the little ones than adults. Jesus said that "the kingdom of God belongs to children" and therefore "anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."(Mk 10:14-15) Jesus even condemned those who damages child: "if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea... do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven… your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."(Matt 18:6-14)

6. Respect your children as the precious children of God, who might be better than you in many ways. They could be anything in the future. Do not look down. The small children of our congregation when I served 20 years ago became great people now, and it will happen continuously. In this fallen world, we corrupted adults are learning from their purity and honesty. Our children are our teachers.

7. We need to learn from our brother and sisters in Christian Reformed Church. They raise their children in the training and instruction of the Lord within golden triangle. They immigrated little earlier than us, and they devoted their lives not simply to make their children worldly successful but to make them healthy Christians. So, they raised their children in the pious triangle of family worship, Christian school, and church education. God gave the wonderful next generation to our community. I am happy to hear from Sunday school teachers that our children are spiritually healthy and growing. Love them and do not hurt them. Raise them not as a selfishly ambitious child but a human being who can love and care God and other people. They will lead our world and our church in the next generation!