Peter and John

John 21:18-23

1. After His resurrection, Jesus went to His betrayed disciples who were fishing back at Galilee. The resurrected Jesus did not visit them to rebuke or punish but to restore and rebuild them. They failed totally to be good disciples of Jesus, but Jesus did not give them up or throw them away. This is the way how God loves us. When He chose us as His children, God does never give up. Rather, He patiently makes us to be His worthy children. Even if we betray Him and leave Him far away, He comes to us and restores our broken relationship. This is the story of the resurrected Jesus! The Gospel of Jesus is not our search of God but His coming down to us. Jesus came to us when we were sinners and enemies to Him.

2. The focus figure of the story is Peter, the so-called leading disciple of Jesus among the twelve. Jesus chose him to make the fishers of men, but His expectation was totally collapsed. Peter denied His suffering master three times and returned to his old life of fishing at Galilee. Now, he failed even as a fisher: he tried to catch fish all night but failed completely. Just in front of the crucifixion of his master, the disciples fought one another by arguing "Who is the greatest?" Jesus had taught them three years, but still they did not give up the secular mind-set and therefore totally misunderstood the way of Jesus. So, Peter opposed the way of cross: "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"(Mt 16:22) It was so disappointing! So, Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."(23) Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"(24-26) Why should I deny myself to follow Jesus? It is because I shall deny Jesus if I don’t deny myself. To be saved, I have to lose myself. It is a paradox, but it is how salvation works. If we follow Jesus without giving up the secular mind-set, we too will oppose Him and deny Him whenever our secular interest is offended. Now, the resurrected Jesus gives this command again: "Follow me!"(19)

3. What does it mean: "follow me"? Don’t follow your arbitrary idea of me! It is not to follow Jesus but his own imagination and desire! "Follow me" means to simply follow Jesus whatever He commands and wherever He leads, without arguing with Him or selecting only what one likes. When we call Jesus "my Lord", it means our absolute obedience to Him, not His command. If your children obey only what they like, you must know that they no longer follow you but their own value, that is, their own self. Peter followed Jesus after he was initially received Jesus’ command "follow me" in the beginning. But it was not following Jesus but following his own ambition and desire! If you follow Jesus selectively, you do not really follow Him! Your ego is alive strongly! Therefore, Peter failed totally to be the genuine follower of Jesus. If you are selective, you are still a slave of your subjective ego, your sinful desires, and thus Satan behind them. Do you follow your small brain and capricious feeling and wandering desires? Do you still follow your thinking, emotion, and will rather than fully and simply following Jesus? See Peter and change your way of life! If you follow your blind self, your life will be a great failure! Salvation of Jesus is to free us from our blind and sinful self and to let us follow Him Who is the Way! The blind may not lead the blind. Once you are saved, all you may do is to follow Jesus. Free from yourself!

4. Then, what is the future when we follow Jesus? He said this to Peter: "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."(18) Once when God chose us, we are in His care and providence whatever we do, because we are His children forever! We think that we manage our life as we like, but it is a great ignorance! God is leading and making our life. Like Peter, we try to make ourselves as we want to be and go where we want. But, now, we can no longer live like that way. As Jesus said, when we are in God’s providence, we are made as God wants and we go where God wants, even it is not the direction and place where we do not want to go! In fact, we are born not by our will. We are led by unseen hands of God. We try to escape it but useless! What we can do is to follow or resist Him, but whether we follow Him or not, the direction itself does not change. If we resist Him, the only difference is our spiritual unrest and waste of time. Our destiny is already decided, and therefore it is better to joyfully accept it. What hinders your following Jesus? It is your enemy, whatever it is. Give them up and throw them far away from you. Or, you will waste your precious life and live your life to repent later like Peter. Now, Peter repented and gave up everything which hindered him from following Jesus. Therefore, his life after this point becomes great and powerful as an instrument of God.

5. Satan hates this kind of commitment and tempted Peter again even in this important moment. Peter was so humbled after total failure, but now when Jesus restored him his self-pride creeps in again. It is the sinful habit of comparison with others to feel superior. So, he asked to Jesus about John: "Lord, what about him?"(21) His dead ego is resurging again! Jesus saw the danger and answered: "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."(22) Our following Jesus does not need any comparison. God created each individual unique, and God’s calling of each of us is unique. Therefore, any comparison is not possible. Not ourselves but God will be our judge. When we compare us with others, we will feel inferior or superior. Both are unhealthy and groundless. God created differently, and how can we compare? We humans set comparison for competition, but it is imperfect and unfair. God is perfectly fair and He does not compare. If there is a standard of judgment, every individual has different standard because they are create different, just as so many different creatures were created unique. So, Jesus corrected Peter not to compare with anybody else. Each disciple has his own calling, and everybody should live his own way. Free from others! What we are allowed to do for others is to love, care, and support them, not criticizing them. All criticizing and comparing comes from self-standard that is the groundless worship of self as the absolute center of the universe. Love others from your family and friends: that is the way you free yourself from others. Follow Jesus without looking and comparing with others!